I can choose to walk towards Serenity or chaos

I can choose to walk towards Serenity or chaos/So much of my life was 
a reaction to a reaction

So far does he  move

our transgressions 

fr us/he knows our

frame/remembers 

we are dust

TO GET UP AGAIN/AGAIN/YEARS OF SUFFERING  CHRONIC  STRESS 

this kept me so self-involved, so much in survival mode, that I literally became sick of

myself.

Gradually I began to see/
feel the underlying
 wholeness beneath
the messes.
Every episode revealed im-portant life lessons. 

frequently work/ppl/  connections/keeping me stuck were re-

moved. These events were house cleaning

mechanisms

THE MORE YOU WORK ON UNDERLYING PROBLEMS/

The more EPISODES MAY INCREASE

revealing an underlying wholeness beneath

HUMANE TREATMENT METHODS THAT 

FEATURE LISTENING

“being with” people

 in their psychosis

 rather than judging

 and dismissing them.

I was creative, as never before.

I noticed a deepening wisdom/the rec-
lamation process

PRIMARY CAUSES 

✔️physical imbalance fr 
alcohol abuse,
✔️personal/cultural emotional wounding

✔midlife hormone change

 ✔️hypothyroidism

✔childhood/adolescent 

trauma
✔mid-life inner journey work/seem related
✔smoking
✔poor diet

THE CORRELATION;
✔high intelligence
✔spirituality
✔creativity 

Inner work opened me to spiritual insight

🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

Marion Woodman:Jungian analyst/author/  feminine psychology /addiction/

sends a clarion call to a planet in the midst of “a shedding its outworn skin”.

book;

/Dancing in the Flames

quotes;

"This is your body, your greatest gift, -pregnant with wisdom you do not hear,

-grief you thought was forgotten, and -joy you have never known.” ...

Love is energy

that cherishes.

The more you work w/that energy you will see ppl respond  to it/the more you will want to use it/😀

It brings out your creativity, and helps everyone around you flower.😀

Your children, the people you work w/everyone blooms.”
― Marion Woodman

“It takes great courage to break with one's past history and stand alone”

“Kill the imagination and you kill the soul. 

Kill the soul and you're left with a listless, apathetic creature who can become hopeless

or brutal or both."

Children not loved for who they are do not learn how to love themselves. Their growth is an exer-cise in pleasing others, not in expanding through experience.
As adults, they must learn 

to nurture their 

own lost child.”

“I prefer the word

 mystery over 

magic. Mystery 

is the depth

 of the sacred."

William Blake says the 

body is 'that portion of soul discerned by the five senses”

"The move fr power to love, involves immense suffering."

"Any creative work comes from that level, where we share our sufferings, just the sheer suffering of being human...
that's where the real love is.”

"What a paradox is there: flying higher into heaven/being forced to work deeper into the hell of my addiction/hell of my own unconscious body.”

“I yearned for lightness;

I yearn for lightness. Lightness is freedom

- freedom fr heaviness of too much stuff,

-too many words, too heavy a pull to-ward inertia.

-I feared being buried in stone

- becoming stone.”

-In your 'perfect' body, you are in control,

-addicted to the light that keeps

 you out of body.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

YOU'RE A SWAN MAID🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

"addicted to wings, addicted to spirit. 
You refused to eat in order to fly.”

/my trying to make 

space to fly and 

forever smashing

 my wings against

 the bars of the cage.

the cage grew bigger 

and very big, but I was always beyond the collective/my soul/cut back by

 the collective/my body.“This is the beginning of a road whose end is totally unknown/totally known."

 Matisse was asked whether he believed

in God, he answered'yes, when I'm working'.”

If/when the power comes from within us we claim it as our own, then we no longer have to affirm ourselves by dominating others.

we are 

actually

 afraid

/our own

 power.”

Each piece goes

through the fire. 
-the cowl, 
-the wings, 
-the pneuma, 
-the source, 
-the flow. 

All must go the way

  I've gone/each may crack in the task 

/I've cracked but the crack healed. 

I didn't break. 

W/out the fire

 the piece 

is untested

unlived, raw. 

Each must go

through the fire

So long as she is obedient to a mother—actual or internal—who unconsciously wishes

to annihilate her she 

is in a state of 

possession 

by the witch

she'll have to recognize herself out fr that witch so she lives her own life
(enmeshed)

Both men and women are searching for their pregnant virgin. She is the part of us who is outcast, the part

 who comes to

 consciousness

 through going

 into darkness,

 mining our leaden

 darkness, until we

 bring her silver out.”

From infancy children are programmed

to perform rather than

 living from their needs/ feelings. They learn to 

ASSESS SITUATION 

 to please others.

W/out an inner core of certainty ground/their

system they lack re- sources to stand alone.

their identity may be utterly absorbed by collective stereotypes/

initiation/ addiction

of consumerism.”

Female conscious-ness has been op- erative in some individuals, but not in a whole culture.

WE'RE ENTERING INTO CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP W/OUR MOTHER/FATHER COMPLEXES.

As a planet we're moving toward maturity.

We're trying to find out who we are when we're not possessed by those complexes.

 And we're fighting against time.”

DAILY SPIRITUAL

PRACTICE IS GROUNDING.

JOURNALING

EXERCISE

STAY IN TOUCH W/ MY SUPPORT SYSTEM

You find God through your

weakest function

(Humbled/

find humility)

✔thinking, ✔feeling,
✔intuiting  ✔sensing.

Many episodes made it clear 
I had to seek unconventional approaches or else I would die

Illness pushed me 

ever deeper to those

wounds requiring 

I keep searching 

for insights

INSIGHTS THEMSELVES ARE HEALING

change the structure in the brain.( put a new one on Seekers path)

nine years seeking 

 answers beyond

medicine created

 healing/insights

that allow me to 

live w/the illness better than most 

despite my scars.

Other things that might affect brain chemistry, such as

✔️ belief,
✔️imagery,
✔️music,
 ✔️energy work and more.

✔factor of emotional

wounds that lie buried 

deep in the unconscious

✔abandonment issues

needed cranio-sacral help.

something like electric currents in my head as

 though hundreds of 

new connections 

were being made

The incident
seems relateds; serious family rejection.

(I assumed the hero role)

early loss experience are often associated with the illness as is trauma in general.

ABANDONMENT

the feminine in general has been severely abandoned in our culture, wounding both women and men.

Knowledge of 

this still isn't common/isn't 

related / most 

intractable problems

 on the planet

FAMILY CONSTELLATION 

Parent's

World War II experience

-wounds sometimes skip generations

b/c hidden burdens for the children

-emotionally absent mother

too full of her own losses 

never grieved.🦋

KEEPING A JOURNAL:
✔️to get well,
✔️ to overcome the hopelessness messages that seem endemic to this illness.

✔herbs 

✔️acupuncture 

✔️balancing my body with

supplements,

✔️changing my diet,

✔️pursuing energy healing

body work,

✔️ mindfulness practices,.

✔️breath work,

✔️meditation and more.

✔️(Prayer)

We are largely left on our own to try to put ourselves back together,

We don't wear bandages/use crutches or sit in wheelchairs

We look “normal” on the outside

/we may be hemorrhaging 

on the inside

Our condition is labeled most commonly, “bipolar mood disorder,” inviting constant

 negative re-inforcement. Medications are sometimes poisonous/ineffec-tive/have de-bilitating side effects. 

We are poorly educated about these or our options, and we are regularly blamed for not taking them 
despite a number 

of extenuating 
circumstances,

✔️such as that we 
have become paranoid and do not trust them or
✔️do not know where they are because we’ve gone mad.

BEING FORCED TO DEAL WITH THIS;

means that I have examined the corruption  

of healthcare/unacknowledged grief

✔an insurance system that treats mental illness inequitably

✔Unrecognized/

criminal negligence.

✔Exposure to abuse/ 

✔exposure to lessons
inter-disciplinary literature about human wholeness that goes far beyond psychiatry

SYNTHESIS RESEARCH:

✔️addictions treatment,
 ✔️mysticism,

✔️Shamanism,
✔️myth and
✔️history, etc.

Comments/

I felt like Rip Van Winkle just waking up from a twelve year nap.

succumbed 
to beliefs/
practices  
lacking any notion abt
 human wholeness.

my inner journey work is one of the main

 

reasons for my survival.

WHEN I DID SEE THE LIGHT;

 I understood better

✔️why I'd always 

felt so battered,

 ✔️forced to succumb to de-humanizing treat-ment defined by 

diagnostic manuals

✔️chemical solu-tions/the opinion that I was a deeply damaged person

 rather than a;

✔creative

✔️extraordinarily 

sensitive, 

✔️wounded one, 

✔️struggling to be 

whole and healthy

✔️if not necessarily

 “cured” forever.

reliance on science

 and the medical

 model means 

 the complexity/

 wholeness of 

human nature 

has been virtually ignored.

our reliance on drugs is extremely dangerous damaging cultural phenomenon that puts society at great risk.

a new historical 

phenomenon 

is appearing.

a “mystical

 renaissance,”

/reframe  my 

experience in 

positive terms.

TRUE DISCIPLESHIP CAN MEAN

💝learning endurance,

💝experiencing pro-found suffering,
💝surviving de-
privations
💝developing com-passion
💝testing courage 
🧡displaying per-severance.

through some of the severest trauma I appreciate that my life was saved 
hundreds of times by events large and small.

the soul grows stronger and more compassionate through such trials.

I gained a rare sense of self-knowledge that I could have found no other way.

how important small acts of kindness are.

My experiences have tested me mightily, cruelly at times, but they have also helped me know what really matters beyond the plasticity of modern living.

Surviving serious illness has helped me discover/ recover my soul

I saw that merely to have made the journey and shared these thoughts is to have helped heal a sick and dying culture.

manic depression has been an experience of living out the mind-body split of civilization in the extreme.

Without the illness I would never have seen these truths, nor wanted passionately to help heal them so that others might have an easier time, especially the voiceless ones.

The human chain that connects us all is strengthened or weakened by our

💖personal response to illness, our
💖pursuit of consciousness, our
💖need to learn to love ourselves and
💖share that.

those of us who bear the label can change that outcome if we define for ourselves what it means to “heal ourselves and heal the culture.”