nothing will
so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.💔
Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can.💔
You can secure their confi-
dence when others fail. Remember they are very ill. 💔
Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have
a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it.💔
Fre-quent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.
because of your own drinking experience
you can be uniquely useful to other alcoholics. So cooperate; never criticize. To be helpful is our only aim.
When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anony-mous, find out all you can about him. If he does not want to stop drinking, don’t waste time trying to per-
suade him. You may spoil a late opportunity. This advice is given for his family also. They should be patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person. If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have a good talk with the person most interested in him—
usually his wife. Get an idea of his behavior, his prob-lems, his background, the seriousness of his condition,
and his religious leanings. You need this information to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned. 💔
Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge. The family may object to this, but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it.
Wait for the
end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so.
If he does not want to see you, never force yourself upon him.
When possible, avoid meeting a man through his family. 💔
If your man needs hospitalization, he
should have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent.
Under these conditions your prospect will see he is under no
pressure.💔
He may be more receptive when de-
pressed.
Tell him enough about your
drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encour-age him to speak of himself. 💔
If he wishes to talk, let
him do so. You will thus get a better idea of how you
ought to proceed.
If he is not communicative, give
him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time you quit.
When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic.💔
Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop. Show him the mental
twist which leads to the first drink of a spree.💔
If he is alcoholic, he will understand
you at once.💔
be careful not to brand him as an
alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion.💔
If he sticks to the idea that he can still controlhis drinking, tell him that possibly he can—if he is not too alcoholic.
Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. Keep his attention focussed
mainly on your personal experience. 💔
you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution. 💔
If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided
it makes sense to him. 💔
The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles. 💔
Your prospect may belong to a religious denomina-tion. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. In that case he is going to wonder how you can add anything to what he already knows. 💔
To be vital, faith must be accompanied
by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action.💔
however deep his faith and knowledge, he could not have applied it or he would not drink. 💔
It is important for him to realize that your
attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. 💔
Suggest how important it is that
he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own. 💔
Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he
needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to.
You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has helped you more than you have helped him. 💔
If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend.
The more hope-less he feels, the better. He will be more likely to follow your suggestions. 💔
You will be most successful with alco-
holics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform. 💔
Never talk down to an alcoholic from any
moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellow-ship. 💔
He should not be pushed or prodded
by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within. 💔
If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or
prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him
to follow his own conscience.
We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us.
Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. 💔
A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. 💔
The family should be offered your way of life. Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better
chance that the head of the family will recover.
It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. That often makes the differ-ence between failure and success. 💔
Job or no job—wife or no wife—we
simply do not stop drinking so long as we place de-pendence upon other people ahead of dependence on God. 💔
Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.
Argument and fault-finding are to
be avoided like the plague. In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected.
Little by little the family may see their own defects and admit them. These can
then be discussed in an atmosphere of helpfulness and friendliness.
These things will come to pass naturally and in good time provided, however,
the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does. 💔
Sometimes it is to the best interests of all concerned that a couple remain apart. Obviously, no rule can be laid down. Let the alcoholic continue his program day by day. When the time for living together has come, it will be apparent to both parties.
Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relation-
ship with God.
Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remark-able things will happen. 💔
When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put
ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.💔
Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! 💔
urge upon a man’s family that he has been a very sick person and should be treated accordingly. 💔
You should warn against arousing resentment or jealousy. 💖
Show them that he has entered upon a period of growth. 💖
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. 💔
Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. 💔
You should not
hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such
an errand. 💔
Keep on the firing line of life with these
motives and God will keep you unharmed.💔
we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. 💔
we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!💔
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