How to tell if you're in a codependent relationship and how to get out / edited

https://fractalenlightenment.com/34892/life/how-to-tell-if-youre-in-a-codependent-relationship-how-to-get-out

When a person attempts 

 to control someone else’s

 life, it only reflects the 

lack of control they 

have on their own.” ~ Daniel Chidiac

those people who are the toughest to deal with are our greatest teachers

one indicator 

as to how “well” 

we are doing 

in our emotional 

evolution process

 is how well 

our relationships

 with others are going.

every person in our life 

represents another part of our own 

self,how well we get along with

 these people tells us how unconditionally 

we are loving our

 own self.

 harmonious  personal relationships can indicate how in tune we are with our own self and life in general.

the more rooted in ego we are the more our relationships will be based on co-dependent tendencies one must make the discernment between what should be considered “healthy” 

A fine line exists between unconditional love and allowing ourselves to be mistreated or

 disrespected by

 another  person

how exactly 

do 

we go about 

recognizing 

            when we are 
    in an unhealthy 
    co-dependent 
          relationship 
      with someone 
while at the same 
   time being  a loving accepting person who doesn’t attempt to manipulate others into being the person WE want them to be?

            A man who loves himself takes             
the first step    
    towards real love.” ~ Osho

Addiction to trying to “fix” someone 

depending on another person

 to be happy, 

feeling of “needing” 

someone vs. just wanting 

to be around them, etc.

fear of losing someone outweighs 
    our fear of losing our own self into them,          we can be sure that we are co-dependent.

when we have found 
    ourselves forgiving someone      time after time, having to              “get over” constant feelings of disappointment        or frustration                  out of fear that 

the person   will leaveus if   we don’t.             We are letting fear be the motivator of the relationship which means we have completely become prisoner to their behavior

Roles have been established, and the more we are attached to these roles,

 the more dependent 

we are on the other 

                   person to reinforce 

the one we 

are playing. 

They need us to reinforce their role and we need them for the same reason. At the point of this happening we are able to establish the boundary between healthy 

and unhealthy, 

unconditional love and 

co-dependency.

As our feelings take a back seat in order to appease the other one,                  we see how fear of upsetting another person (which goes hand in hand with fear of losing them).                        sneakily disguises itself as unconditional love and forgiveness. 

another person cannot make us feel 

worthy, validated, accepted or loved unless we have unconditionally accepted and loved our own self first

Another person cannot make us feel secure, confident, respected or important if we have not done these things for our own self first

Often, after we have 

   realized that we are not always completely confident, or independent,or fearless 

we make a mistake             that actually ensures we remain a prisoner in a co-dependent relationship. 

We try and become who we think we 

“should” be in order to try and prove to ourselves and the other person that we can be who they want us to be.

to deny a part of our own 

self is to allow it to persist. 

What we try to avoid,

 deny and pretend 
     will continue to 

   pop up in the most inappropriate of times, which becomes another red flag telling us that the relationship is co-dependent

   Healthy relationships need no “strategies.” 

people that respect themselves and respect            one another do not need                         “tactics” in order to get the other                                   one to act how they want them to.

Recover from codependency

Instead of trying to be “perfect”

Natural  Emotions 

(which are only appearing in our reality to be embraced and loved like the scared child inside our hearts)

...start to notice a miraculous thing. 
      We are respecting ourselves, naturally. We are accepting and loving ourselves,               naturally.  
   ( without all the qualifiers, 

whataboutisms) 

We are not beating ourselves        up for not living 

up to an image of 

               how we think we 

are supposed to be 

   just completely being ok    

with who or what we are.
not scared to have emotions/ we trust that they                are there to show us something

At the point that we 

start trusting our own 

emotions, we begin to form an intimate relationship with our own heart 

begins to shift everything

Fear based relationships can no longer exist in this environment.

 When we are looking out for our own best interest, people who don’t match up with this will no longer feel “right”.

          At this point, 
co-dependent relationships drop out of                our life naturally or they heal         themselves because one person 
is no longer playing the part       
they had previously 

been playing.

With one person no longer afraid to lose the other one,     having an authentic     relationship with  his or her self, the other person is forced to rise to the occasion, or forced to leave the partnership

 (if that is an option).

Loving our self no matter what,        embracing our feelings & emotions is the only thing

 that will ensure we 

remain true to ourselves,     maintain healthy, positive relationships that are promoting growth and maturity. 

It's just the natural by-product of how well we treat our own selves, and how much we listen to the feelings of our own hearts.